Senyum Cinta

Aku duduk diam di sini. Menghadap pantai yang tenang. Burung burung berkicau. Tiba tiba aku ternampak dua figura. Bergelak ketawa. Si lelaki dan si perempuan kelihatan bahagia bersama. Mata aku tak lepas dari memandang mereka. Bahagia nya rasa bila hati di salut cinta. Aku tersenyum. Aku juga pernah merasakan begitu. Pernah. Bukan sedang. Dan menyedari itu, senyum aku mati.

Imbauan pertama.

“Haii Mira!,” Langkah ku terhenti. Aku kenal suara itu. Dengan perlahan aku menoleh. Matanya bertaut dengan mataku. Aku senyum dan mengangguk sedikit. Lantas langkah ku laju berlalu pergi. Sempat aku menangkap usikan kawan kawannya. Aku tersenyum sendiri. Jantungku mengikuti rentak kaki ku. Hati keluar bunga bunga. Terasa di kelilingi ros ros merah, putih dan pelbagai lagi warna. Aku teruskan langkah ku. Senyum tak mati lagi di bibir ini.

Imbauan kedua.

“Nah, for you,” Tangan itu menghulurkan sesuatu pada aku. Aku bekerut. Untuk apa pemberian ini ? Menyedari aku yang kaku, dia meletakkan rantai itu di tapak tangan ku. “One day, I hope I could see you wearing it,” Dia senyum dan berlalu pergi. Aku cuma diam di tempat ku. Dan tiba tiba hati keluar bunga bunga lagi. Aku faham maksudnya. Aku melihat sekeliling. Tiada orang. Lalu tangan ku menyelinap masuk ke dalam tudung ku. Aku kalungkan rantai itu ke leher ku. Dan aku senyum. Suatu hari nanti, mana tahu dia akan dapat melihat rantai ini di leher ku. Aku senyum lagi.

Imbauan ketiga.

“Asyik asyik dengan that guy, jealous tahu?” Mukanya masam mencuka. Aku pandang wajahnya. Dan aku diam. Air mata mula bertakung. “Ehh, hey hey, I didn’t mean to,.. Crap! Hey hey, don’t cry,” Dia laju memujuk aku. Air mata jatuh. Aku mula teresak kecil. Dia jadi buntu tentang apa yang harus di lakukan. Tiba tiba aku dengar suara menyanyi “Baby, I love you and I never want to let you go, the more I think about, the more I want to let you know..” Aku diam. Melihat aku yang berhenti menangis, dia lansung menyanyi. Aku terhibur. Hati yang terguris dek kemarahan oleh dia, tiba tiba pulih. Parutnya ada tapi luka itu telah hilang. Hati bagai di landa salji, tiba tiba menjadi sejuk. Bibir aku tak lekang dengan senyuman.

Tapi itu dulu.

Manisnya bercinta. Aku pernah rasa. Tapi sakit apabila cinta itu hilang, seperti luka yang di rendam dalam air garam. Rasa macam hati kena tusuk sembilu. Rasa macam kena hempap batu seribu. Aku menarik nafas dalam dalam. Aku tersenyum sendiri. Luka yang ada dalam hati bagai peringatan untuk tidak bercinta lagi. Dan sekarang, aku di sini sendirian. Mungkin sendiri ini lebih baik. Tidak ada yang menyakiti dan di sakiti. Cinta itu memang indah. Namun risikonya besar. Orang orang yang berani sahaja akan dapat menghadapinya. Tapi sayang, aku bukan dari kalangan orang orang tersebut. Aku melihat lagi pasangan itu. Bahagianya mereka. Aku juga pernah bercinta. Pernah. Bukan sedang. Dan senyum aku tak mati lagi. Sekurang kurangnya, aku pernah merasa. Kau pernah rasa ?

Hak Cipta: Arissa

Voice

Arissa

These false tears have betrayed her most fear, her promised not to cry and be strong to that particular someone. Her tears keep on dripping from her long lashes like dew on grass. Even her hands are tired to weep those tears. So she let it runs free, run down her cheek that has been wet for countless of time. She curled into a ball on her bed. Closed her eyes for a moment. Focusing her mind to create the vivid picture of his figure. His hair, his charming smile, his mystery eyes. All of it. She could even feel the warmness of his touch, the harmonious sounds of his laughter and his sweet, very sweet smell. She opened her eyes. Those tears came down in a faster rate. Her soft sob becoming loud and would break anyone heart who heard it. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. Those 2 words that kept on chanting in her head, and put the stabbing pain in her hearts wouldn't go away. Suddenly, she felt his voice, in a soft murmur, whispering to her ear. "Don't cry, I'm always here" She turned around. No one was there. She broke a small laugh. Of course no one was there. Suddenly she saw someone from the corner of her eyes. Her face stiffened. 

"Well, aren't you going to say hello ?," The voice came from the mystery figure. She refused to look though her hearts was aching out of curiosity. No, she thought. He's dead. I must be imagining things. She calmed herself and finally found the strength to look. And her guess was right, no one was there. She was imagining things. She missed him. So much.

"Eve ?" Called out a voice.

She heard the same voice. She let out a sigh. I miss him. Terribly, she thought. She closed her eyes and again, trying to reach out for the voice she just heard. She let out a heavy breath. As if to let all those mixed emotion out from her chest. 

" You're not imagining things. I'm here. Look at me!" The voice came for the third time. She opened her eyes slowly. Hes eyes were wide open as if they would popped out. Her lips parted and stayed hang open for a minute.She could not utter even a single word. She reached out her trembled hand. To feel if the figure was lying. To see if she was imagining things. To reassure herself that this was all just a dream. A dream that she has longed for. As soon as her hands touched the figure, she jerked away. She could feel him! She could touched his body! She looked puzzled and confused. He slowly kneel down before her and took both of her hands. 

"I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry." He looked at her as if he was about to cry. She still shocked. Unable to move, unable to speak. She became numb at the presence of him. They stayed like that for quite a while. He patiently waited for a reaction, for a tear, for a shout of joy but nothing. He was about to let go of her hands when suddenly Eve flew her hand all over him.

"How.. Why.. What.. You.." And all the words after that turned into sobs. He calmed her. Soothed her with his touched but it seems not working. She continued crying on his shoulder. He, again, patiently waited for her to calm. She felt her tears dried up and now she managed to broke out a small laugh. She let go of him and held his face. Nothing seem to change. The details of him stayed exactly the way she remember it. "I.." They both said the same time. They laughed. She laughed. She just could not believe it. He was here again. She did not know how or why but the fact of his here with her blocked away all those questions. 

" Eve, I'm home" The sound of the door cracked didn't even bother her. She did not seem to hear anything. She just concentrated on him. Only him.

"Eve?" Julie called out. Worrying that Eve might be in her room crying like she always does. She rushed to Eve room. "Eve!" She opened the door without knocking. Julie was shocked, half scared, half confused. Eve looked at Julie who was standing dumbfounded at her door. "Julie look! Steve is back!" She blurted out. She waited for Julie's reaction. She didn't look happy or sad or anything. Just standing there with dumbfounded expression. She began to feel weird. "Julie?" Eve stood up and walked towards Julie. Julie didn't seem to noticed Steve. Julie flew hear hands around her. "Oh Eve," Julie began to cry. Eve tried to free herself from Julie's tight hug. "What? Steve is here, look" She pointed out to Steve. 

"There's no one there Eve. There's no on there," Julie said and began to hug her again. "Oh Eve. I know you miss him. I miss him too," She didn't seem to hear a word Julie says. She kept staring at the space that is now empty without the presence of Steve.

She just keep staring. Waiting and hoping the figure would come back. But no, nothing filled that space anymore. And then, that false tears running down her cheeks. Again.